The Creation Of Vietnam Vets
When the Lord was
creating Vietnam veterans, He was into His 6th day of overtime when an angel
appeared.
"You're certainly
doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And God said, "Have
you seen the specs on this order? A Nam vet has to be able to run 5 miles
through the bush with a full pack on, endure with barely any sleep for days,
enter tunnels his higher ups wouldn't consider doing, and keep his weapons
clean and operable.
He has to be able to sit
in his hole all night during an attack, hold his buddies as they die, walk
point in unfamiliar territory known to be VC infested, and somehow keep his
senses alert for danger.
He has to be in top
physical condition existing on c-rats and very little rest. And he has to have
6 pairs of hands."
The angel shook his head
slowly and said, "6 pair of hands....no way."
The Lord say's
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems. It's the 3 pair of eyes
a Nam vet has to have."
"That's on the
standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded.
"One pair that sees through elephant grass, another pair here in the side
of his head for his buddies, another pair here in front that can look
reassuringly at his bleeding, fellow soldier and say, "You'll make
it" ... when he knows he won't.
"Lord, rest, and
work on this tomorrow."
"I can't,"
said the Lord. "I already have a model that can carry a wounded soldier
1,000 yards during a firefight, calm the fears of the latest FNG, and feed a
family of 4 on a grunt's paycheck."
The angel walked around
the model and said, "Can it think?"
"You bet,"
said the Lord. "It can quote much of the UCMJ, recite all his general
orders, and engage in a search and destroy mission in less time than it takes
for his fellow Americans back home to discuss the morality of the War, and
still keep his sense of humor."
"This Nam vet also
has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with ambushes from hell, comfort a
fallen soldier's family, and then read in his hometown paper how Nam vets are
baby killers, psychos, addicts, killers of innocent civilians."
The Lord gazed into the
future and said, "He will also endure being vilified and spit on when he
returns home, rejected and crucified by the very ones he fought for."
Finally, the angel
slowly ran his finger across the vet's cheek, and said, "There's a
leak...I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a
leak", said the Lord. "That's a tear."
"What's the tear
for?" asked the angel.
"It's for bottled
up emotions, for holding fallen soldiers as they die, for commitment to that
funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for the terror of living with
PTSD for decades after the war, alone with it's demons with no one to care or
help."
"You're a
genius," said the angel, casting a gaze at the tear.
The lord looked very
somber, as if seeing down eternity's distant shores.
"I didn't put it
there," he said.
Author
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