The Creation
Of Vietnam Vets
When the Lord was creating Vietnam veterans,
He was into His 6th day of
overtime when an angel appeared.
"You're certainly doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.
"And God said, "Have you seen the specs on this order?
A Nam vet has to be able
to run 5 miles through the bush with a full pack on,
endure with barely any
sleep for days, enter tunnels his higher ups wouldn't consider doing,
and keep his weapons
clean and operable. He has to be able to sit in his hole all night during
an attack, hold his
buddies as they die, walk point in unfamiliar territory known to be VC
infested,
and somehow keep his
senses alert for danger. He has to be in top physical condition existing on
c-rats and very little
rest. And he has to have 6 pairs of hands.
"The angel shook his head slowly and said, "6 pair of hands....no
way.
"The Lord say's "It's not the hands that are causing me problems.
It's the 3 pair of eyes
a Nam vet has to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded.
"One pair that sees
through elephant grass, another pair here in the side of his head for his
buddies,
another pair here in
front that can look reassuringly at his bleeding, fellow soldier and say,
"You'll make
it" ... when he knows he won't.
"Lord, rest, and work on this tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord.
"I already have a
model that can carry a wounded soldier 1,000 yards during a firefight, calm the
fears
of the latest FNG, and
feed a family of 4 on a grunt's paycheck
"The angel walked around the model and said, "Can it think?"
"You bet," said the Lord. "It can quote much of the UCMJ, recite
all his general orders,
and engage in a search
and destroy mission in less time than it takes for his fellow Americans
back home to discuss the
morality of the War, and still keep his sense of humor.
"This Nam vet also
has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with ambushes from hell,
comfort a fallen
soldier's family, and then read in his hometown paper how Nam vets are baby killers,
psychos, addicts,
killers of innocent civilians.
"The Lord gazed into the future and said, "He will also endure being
vilified and spit on when he
returns home, rejected
and crucified by the very ones he fought for.
"Finally, the angel slowly ran his finger across the vet's cheek, and
said, "There's a leak...
I told you that you were
trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak", said the Lord. "That's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" asked the angel. "It's for bottled up
emotions, for holding fallen soldiers
as they die, for
commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for the
terror
of living with PTSD for
decades after the war, alone with it's demons with no one to care or
help."
"You're a genius," said the angel, casting a gaze at the tear.
The lord looked very somber, as if seeing down eternity's distant shores.
"I didn't put it
there," he said.
Author
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